Bringing the Best of New Jersey to Salt Lake City

Let me begin by saying that people make fun of New Jersey a lot . . . but most of it is well deserved. People are kind of rude, a lot of the state is ugly and my dirtbag of an ex-brother-in-law lives there. There are some great things about the state, my sister and her great kids live there. Princeton is beautiful and there are some cool historical sites. But the main thing New Jersey has going for it is pizza.

In Trenton, I went with my sister for "tomato pie." It was unbelievable, thin crust, just the right amount of sauce and cheese. The pitcher of birch beer they brought complimented it perfectly. It was also served up with lot of New Jersey attitude and the booths had collages of pictures featuring dudes who looked like this and super tan Italian girls showing lots of clevage.

In an earlier post I promised I would review Nuch's Pizzeria in Salt Lake. The location is not ideal, it's right off the 23d East exit from I-80. The pizza was unbelievable. While Settebello offers the authentic Italian wood-oven pizza, this is more of a New York/New Jersey pie. Perfect for take-out.

The crust was super thin and just crispy enough. There was also a good sauce and a more cheese than the Jersey pizza, but it was still great. The 16 inch pie can feed 3-4 people, but Mrs. Fabulous and I downed the whole thing.

The only thing you may need to provide for yourself is birch beer. Boylans is the best I've found so far, but I am going to try some others that I will review in upcoming posts.

Bovine Bliss

I was in charge of Christmas dinner this year and decided to do a Texas brisket. I chose this recipe from none other than Paula Dean and it was stupendous (Speaking of Paula Dean, check out this video).

It had the flavor and tenderness of pot roast with a consistency of steak. A few things to note, use sea salt or kosher salt with the rub. Some of the reviews said the table salt made it too salty. Also, I added a cup of beef broth and a cup of water and it filled the pan up about a half inch and made the meat extra tender.

Coo Coo for Cocoa

There's nothing quite like a perfect cup of hot chocolate when you're cold. There's also nothing quite like the disappointment of a poorly mixed brew with clumps of instant hot chocolate powder mixed in water (the kind you get in Mason jars as Christmas gifts), served in a styrofoam cup (with a plastic spoon to do the extra mixing).

The best hot chocolate I ever had was in Lausanne Switzerland. Mrs. Fabulous and I had gone to Europe as newlyweds and since it was August, we had packed shorts, t-shirts and sandals. Little did we know that we would encounter three weeks of 50 degree weather and rain. It was really coming down in Lausanne and was freezing. We sought shelter in a little pub called "Le Barbare" (the Barbarian)--just off a huge stone staircase coming down from the cathedral, which is the highest point in the city.

What they served was more like a hot chocolate mousse. It was thick like pudding, but it was warm and it was extra good because we were cold and wet. The pub had huge exposed wooden beams and it was served up with the typical Swiss gruff attittude. It was one of the highlights of our trip.

Has anyone had anything like that in America? If I find a good recipe, I will post it.

Best and Worst of Christmas

Christmas brings out the best and worst in people. Mr. Scrooge helps poor Tiny Tim in Victorian England and obese shoppers trample poor sales clerks at 2:00 am in Wal-Mart on Black Friday in Alabama.

Food is no exception. All of the great Christmas foods are half of the celebration for me. Whether it's the special shrimp cocktail or my Mom's layered salad, thoughts of Christmas get the saliva glands going.

There are also some bad Christmas foods, usually given as gifts. Below is a list of my top 5 and bottom 5 Christmas foods. What would you add? You defenders of the beloved Russell Stover Christmas tradition, speak up!

Top 5:

1. Shrimp cocktail (I don't know if it's really a Christmas food, but that's what we eat on Christmas Eve in my family)
2. Toffee
3. Most chocolate/peppermint combinations
4. Homemade Christmas cookies
5. Chocolate dipped caramel pretzels (eggnog got dropped from the list because I enjoyed one just this afternoon)

Bottom 5:

1. Russell Stover Chocolates (the all-time cheap gift)
2. Fruitcake
3. The chocolate orange
4. Giant tins of plain/cheese/carmel popcorn with a dog, wildlife or Santa on the front
5. Non-peppermint candy canes

The American Dream

It's the American dream, the penniless immigrant steps off the boat and becomes a small business owner. It has happened and it will continue to happen. What happens when they don't quite pull it off?

You may get some interesting results. Case in point: Yummy Burger in Ohio. This was sent to me from a friend (codename YoHio) from the heartland and bellweather of America -- Ohio.

Yummy Burger has some signs that say Yummy Burger and some that say White Lotus. This is because Yummy Burger serves burgers and fries as well as Thai food. You could have a side of Pad Thai with your burger or dip your fries in Massaman Curry.

Another sad story comes from Utah County, where I am gainfully employed. There is a restaurant called China Wok, which I so wanted to like. It is run by a family, the dad cooks the food in the back, his wife waits tables and their son runs around the restaurant. The place was empty and I was excited to give them my business and become a loyal customer . . . until they brought out the food.

To me, it does not seem too hard to make Chinese food the caliber of Panda Express. There are plenty of Chinese restaurants that serve up the Americanized Chinese fare and it's not bad. This was horrible. I ordered sweet and sour pork and was served what looked like tater tots. These were fried balls of dough with a little grizzle in the middle. To go on top was a bright red sauce (sugar, cornstarch and red food coloring). The fried rice on the side was black because it had so much soy sauce.

My Dad and I could not even finish half of what was on our plates and really debated if it was a meal we should pay for. Hopefully this family finds success in another line of work.

Mama Mia, That's a Nice-a Sandwich!

I loves me an I-talian sandwich. There are some great places for such fare in Salt Lake City. Granato's and Caputo's are the best.

Today's spotlight is on Caputo's, but no disrespect is meant toward Granato's (as the two are bitter rivals).

The other day I stopped in and had the signature Caputo sandwich. This sandwich consists of "Prosciutto, mortadella, salami, provolone, lettuce, and tomatoes on a hard Italian roll covered with olive oil and balsamic vinegar." There's something about the roll, the balsamic vinegar and prosciutto that really makes the sandwich. I love the little pepper and olive that come with it as well.

Does anyone else agree that real Mediterranean olives are something that you could eat one or two of but are way too strong to eat any more?

Caputo's has a mean meatball and I wanted to try the Muffaletta. This is a discussion that should be saved for another post, but I am very intrigued by the sandwiches of New Orleans, including the Muffaletta and various mutations of po' boy.

I'd love to hear from readers about their favorite Italian sandwich places around the country and if you've had good New Orleans sandwiches and how much skin you had to show to get them.

Donut Divide

There is a divide in Salt Lake City between the east side and the west side. Nowhere is this division more pronounced than in a competition between two donut shops: Banbury Cross and My Sugar's.

Banbury Cross is on 7th East and 7th South, near liberty park. While it is not in one of the east side's most stellar neighborhoods, it's close to the hip Trolley Square shopping center and it's on the way to work for most east-siders. The donuts are delicious, especially the buttermilk bars and the cinnamon crumble. The shop is large, well-kept and accommodates sit-down enjoyment or drive-through. It is an east side institution frequented by coffee-sipping ski bums and wealthy housewives alike. I love their donuts and last time we went they accidentally gave us two maple bars instead of buttermilk bars and let us keep the maple bars, which was very nice.

Over to the west side to My Sugar's Donuts. It is in the industrial part of town, next to warehouses and off of the ugly State Road 201 at 3200 West. It's in a non-descript building at a busy intersection and has a cheezy pink sign with a silhouette of a little girl carrying a basket. I got there at 8:30 and they were almost sold out. There were hard-working American joes getting huge boxes to take back to work. When I asked the woman at the counter what she'd recommend she said in broken English "you choose your favorite!"

It seemed to be everything to the west side that Banbury Cross is to the east side. That being said . . . MAN! do they know how to make a good donut! I got a cinnamon twist that was warm and left me wanting more. They were also fairly light and didn't leave me feeling like I'd eaten a glob of Crisco.

I can't decide which is better.

But back to the east/west friction, check out a review of My Sugar's on Google Maps from Chad:

"My Sugar's Donuts beat Banbury Cross hands down. But because of the East Side bias of the Salt Lake Valley they don't receive the recognition they deserve. If their location were East of State Street Banbury Cross would be out of business. If you want to eat a good Donut, you will find it at My Sugar's.‎"

The battle rages on.

Liquid Gold

I must preface this post by saying that I love soda, but cream soda is not usually one of my favorites. It looks a bit like urine and the taste has always been a bit too sweet for my discriminating palate.

I'm always up for trying new things and a friend recommended Pearson Bros. Cream Soda. I knew I had to try it when the Soda Samurai himself said it was perhaps the best product he sold. His website had the Pearson's, and I was very pleased with my buying experience. Unlike Popsoda.com, it does not look like it's straight out of 1997 and the shipping is reasonable. It's a great site and he throws in a bottle opener key chain with your order.

So, I sampled the Pearson's and it lived up to the hype. It tasted like liquid caramel, but it also went down easy and was not so sweet that it hurt my teeth or gave me a headache. Just plain deliciousness. While it's going down it tastes great, the POW!, it hits you with a caramely, butterscotch aftertaste.

I have a new favorite soda and it has a cool bottle to boot (looks like the old Golden State Warriors uniforms).

Why it Was Worth $10.75

Most people associate Utah with snow. Some people are not familiar with the geography of the United States and don't know much about the state. I spoke with someone on the phone last week and when I told them it was snowy here, they said that was a big surprise to them, they didn't associate Utah with snow. Guess they forgot about the 2002 Winter Olympics and don't know that famous people head to Park City in the winter.

Yesterday, I took the day off work and hit the slopes. It was a spectacular day, lots of fresh snow, sun and relative warmth. The resort was empty and I didn't have to share the lifts with bratty kids from Pennsylvania or doctors from New Jersey. Which leads into my reason for the post.

Normally I'm a cheapskate at movie theaters, sporting events and resorts. Why pay a lot of money for mediocre food?

When I was getting ready to leave I noticed we were out of bread and I decided to fore go my usual PB & J (there's nothing like gulping down a half frozen sandwich on a ski lift) and bite the bullet with overpriced resort food. I got chili in a bread bowl, which was $10.75 . . . way overpriced. But I loved it and it was delicious. There's nothing like hot food when you are cold and hungry. They could have served me a Red Barron frozen pizza and it would have been (as my mother-in-law says) heaven.

What are worthwhile indulgences to you dear readers? A churro at an amusement park? Popcorn at the movies? A hot dog that has been under a heat lamp for 19 hours at a sporting event?

The Kama Sutra Hamburger

. . . this exotic, sensual practice (of making burgers) is an ancient tradition from the far east and will change your relationship (with food) forever . . .

First off, I must say that exotic, fancy hamburgers are kind of a ridiculous trend. However, I am a total sucker for gourmet burgers. If you're ever in Washington, D.C. check out Good Stuff Eatery. Their thai burger is delicious.

This recipe for Bombay Sliders is a real winner. I must give credit to my good friend BP for introducing me to these gourmet sliders. A few things to note: ground turkey (which the recipe calls for) is much healthier than ground beef. The ground beef is really good and that is how I usually make it. Be sure to get fresh dinner rolls (potato rolls are the best).

Pizza Snob

I must confess, I am a total pizza snob. I ate so much Domino's pizza in college that it doesn't do much for me. If it's in front of me and free, I may have a slice, but I don't get very excited about it.

Once you've had great thin crust pizza, the doughy pizza hut/domino's kind doesn't really cut it. Since this is a blog about food snobbery, I will tell you about some of the great places I've discovered in Utah.

Of course, Settebello is unbelievable. It tastes just like what you get in Italy. One undiscovered gem that is (gasp!) in Utah County is Pizzeria 712. It is in a nondescript strip mall in Orem, but the pizza is amazing. It has a wood-burning oven and has a great sausage topping.

I want to try Nuch's that just opened near where I live in East Millcreek. I will post a review as soon as I try it (but will not give it a three star review about how I'm excited to try it).

. . . And the Streets Ran With Fry Sauce

vs

Utah has become a battleground state in the burger wars. Two heavyweights compete for the hard-earned dollars of working Utahns.

The people of Utah are the real beneficiaries, both are excellent and ironically have similar business models. Both Five Guys and In N Out have simple menus, the freshest ingredients and delicious food.

Five guys features more of a "sloppy" burger. The meat is juicy and the fixins are too, making it a little more messy. In N Out burgers have thinner patties and are more pretty. I think I will have to place my flag in the Five Guys camp. The burgers are a little better for me.

When it comes to fries, to me, there's no comparison. In N Out has dry, thin, bland fries. Five guys has the gold standard of perfect fries, and you've got to love a place that gives you a brown bag of fries where you can see the huge grease marks. So, Five Guys for me, but weigh in on your favorite, even if it's Crown Burger or Hardees.

New Shipment of the Good Stuff . . . From My Dealer

I love soda, some (like my wife) may even call me an addict. Well, recently, like any good addict, I got a dealer.

My friend delivered me his cell phone number, I made the call, set up a time and got the cash to go over to his house and make the transaction. Luckily, nothing crazy went down and no guns were drawn.

What would make me go to such lengths to buy soda on the gray market? Dublin Dr. Pepper. There is one rogue Dr. Pepper plant in Dublin, Texas that still makes Dr. Pepper in old bottles with Imperial Cane Sugar. This stuff is legendary and I've been trying to get my hands on it for years.

Can it be that much better? Yes. It has a clean taste and both the bottle and the sugar amplify all of the great things about the beverage.

It definitely lives up to all the hype. If you're nice and leave comments, I may even be able to get you a bottle or two.

That's Amore!

I always associate this Italian sandwich masterpiece with Baltimore. I first had one of these at an Orioles game. I also had something similar at a Cub's game at Wrigley Field. As I was walking to my seat with my food, a drunk woman in her 50's made a pass at me by saying: "you've got a huge sausage!"

These are really easy to make and you'd be hard pressed to find anything more delicious in the hot dog food group. What you need is:

6 mild Italian sausages
6 fresh hoagie rolls
3 peppers (red and yellow work best)
2 yellow onions

Chop up the onions and peppers and sautee them in olive oil.

They need to cook down a lot, plan on 20-30 minutes until the onions are translucent and a little brown.

Throw the sausages on the grill.

Serve the sausage on the fresh roll with the onions and peppers on top.

Very Annoying

I've gotten to the point where I usually don't eat at restaurants if I haven't seen good reviews, don't see movies without good reviews and don't try recipes without seeing reviews.

Most of the restaurant and recipe reviews are done by laymen and the aggregate opinion is what I usually go on.

Here's what I've found: good places have an overwhelming majority of good reviews. Inevitably with restaurants with tons of great reviews, there's some snob who posts something like: "I'm from ____ and this is NOT authentic ____!"

Especially in Utah, there are a whole class of people who live here that think they are too good for the state. Even if something is good, they are from _____, so they are the expert and what passes for ____ food in Utah is total crap.

Even more annoying are people with recipe reviews. There is always someone who gives the recipe 3/5 stars and says: "Haven't tried it yet, but it looks good."

There are also people who give it 2 or 3 stars and say: "Didn't follow the recipe and baked instead of fried and it did not have any flavor and I couldn't eat it."

Why the he## would you review something you hadn't tried or why would you blame the recipe if you had not followed it?

Turn Your Kitchen Into an Industrial Grade Smoker

This weekend I had a hankering for some pulled pork sandwiches. I made this recipe, which is a winner for so many reasons.

The pork shoulder is a cheap cut of meat, under $2.00 a pound. It pulls apart so easily and the liquid smoke makes it taste like the real deal.

There are a few requirements for this recipe.

First, only use white bread or potato rolls. That is a must.

Second, is the sauce that you put on top. This is where the battle is won or lost.

Last year we went to Charleston, SC and stopped at this unbelievable barbeque joint. We bought a bottle of the mustard-based sauce and had it with the sandwiches. It was amazing, and it added just the right amount of sweet, tang and kick to the succulent pork.

What are your favorite barbeque sauces and barbeque places from around the country dear readers?

When at Home, as in Rome

If any of you have been to Italy, you will know that there is one thing that makes travelers put up with transportation strikes, pickpockets and gypsies who wash your car and demand payment: GELATO.

Gelato is available in the U.S., but if you've had the same experience I have, you usually pay $8.00 for a portion the size of a Costco sample.

If you own an ice cream maker, try this recipe, it's amazing. Chocolate hazelnut gelato, but it is imperative that you add the roasted hazelnuts on top.

Stay tuned for upcoming tiramisu and pistachio gelato recipes.

Always Trust a Broken Down Car

Last night, after a rough day in the salt mines, the whole family went to Lone Star Taqueria in Salt Lake City (near Fort Union).

This place was featured on Diner's Drive-ins and Dives and I think it lives up to the hype.

I had the carne asada burrito and Mrs. Fabulous had the fish tacos (what they're known for). Both were off the charts.

The ski bum/yuppie crowd definitely dominates the joint, but they were cordial and no one tried to pick a fight when Felix Jr. put out the vibe in his highchair.

You know--lots of puffy jackets and cars in the parking lot with Save Our Canyons stickers and people who think of their lab and or malamute as their child.

One of my favorite Mexican places, and they have many bottled Mexican sodas, another bonus.

In Cherche of Jambon

France has a very bad name in America. Granted there are many problems with the country, not the least of which is that every man must wear a striped sweater and beret and must always be rude to American tourists.

For those who have been to France, you will know that it is impossible to find a bad ham sandwich there. You can buy one from a vending machine at the train station and it will be delicious.

Unfortunately, it seems just as difficult to find a good ham sandwich here in the land of the free. Most ham tastes like maple-flavored rubber. I don't know when ham and honey glaze were married, but the two have been inseparable ever since.

I like very salty ham. The kind that tastes like real pork and not like maple/honey glaze.

Today I have been craving the croque monsieur. What in the heck is a croque monsieur--you ask (typical American idiot). It is a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. However, you must have all of the finest ingredients, especially the right ham.

So, I will make it my quest to find delicious ham, come hell or high water. I will keep you, dear readers, apprised of any finds.

Sneaky Sneaky

To me part of the joy of going to a movie is sneaking in outside food. I don't know why, but I get a strange thrill from sticking it to the man by not buying over-priced concessions.

We reached a new height last week when Mrs. Fabulous and I attended The Fantastic Mr. Fox (highly recommended by the way) and Mrs. Fabulous was able to smuggle in a full Chinese take out meal, complete with egg rolls, fried rice, orange chicken and kung pao chicken -- I've never been more in love with her.

Contraband food always tastes better in the theater and I like to think there is total outrage when my outside food is discovered in the trash after the show. Sadly, I suspect the kids in the the oversized maroon polo shirts or neon bowties who work at the theater don't really care . . . at least not as much as I would hope they do.